Attract The Love You Deserve


How can a single Christian woman honor God and attract the love she deserves?

In the early 1980’s, before I knew very little about relationships and nothing about Jesus, I became a professional matchmaker. I was only 25.

It was a dream job; I spent every day sifting through pages of profile books with singles that were looking for the perfect match. We would talk about what they wanted and what would attract them to a certain person. Was it their style, their humor, their income?

Some women were successful in dating, most were not.

What I came to understand was that many of my clients were “desperate daters” that would consistently attract the wrong men because their personal character development was incomplete and their moral and spiritual GPS was broken. In other words, God was not done with these women yet. They wanted someone else to fill the void that only Jesus could fill.

James 1:4

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

In my workshops, I teach women how to attract the man God has chosen for them and how to recognize True Love. I teach them how to let go of the unhealthy expectations that get them into false relationships and seek His Love before any other. There are 3 key components to approach Christian dating with marriage in mind:

1 John 4:19

We love because he first loved us.

  1. He Loves You

The first step never changes; you need to know where your true value comes from and Who is the Author and Completer of Love. If the source is not Jesus, you will end up manufacturing a relationship with a man that has no firm foundation in Love itself. It will only be a matter of time before challenges arise in dating that you were not meant to experience. Let Him love you first.

Matthew 22:37

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

  1. Love Him Back

Solidifying your Love relationship with Christ will give you the proper perspective about all things related to love. Let Him lay the pathway to Love and make your path straight. When you love Jesus fully and completely, it will be evidenced by peace and comfort in being single. Your longing to fill the void will diminish because you are so in love with Jesus that your priority will be Him and not placing your hope in men. Only then will He transform you and mature you to receive the human love you desire.

Psalm 90:14

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

  1. Be Ready To Receive The Right Man From God

This is the step that most women miss. Once you understand and have embraced the Love relationship with Jesus, the desires of your heart will now be aligned with His. You will begin to experience outward expressions of the inward change. In my workshops, we help guide the transformation in practical ways that reflect who you are in Christ. This step is critical to make sure you are representing in your walk what is true in your heart without the temptation of unhealthy earthly relationships taking you off course.

Hebrews 10:24-26

 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Many women have old patterns or social expectations that will still persist if they do not have the Godly wisdom and biblical tools to create the boundaries and accountability necessary in dating. Just like creating new healthy habits in other areas of your life, it is important to cement the social virtues you need to receive love designed by God. Without the right tools, wisdom and understanding will not take root. You need to have the knowledge welded together with the right support to be victorious in waiting for the right man God chose for you!

***If you are live near San Diego and want to attend a LIVE workshop with Lisa Jander, CLICK HERE for additional information. The next workshop is May 14, 2016.


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