Is Christian Dating Different Than Secular Dating?

I’ve been a relationship expert now for longer than I care to admit – so let’s just say, “I know stuff.”

I’ve learned that our vertical relationship with Christ does not always translate to a horizontal success rate in dating relationships. Not sure that is true? The divorce rate is just as high in the Christian community as the National average.

I am a mom of adult children, a wife and a follower of Jesus. I was saved at the age of 36, so I have lived well on both sides of the track.

I am very happily married to my husband whom I met online. My first marriage, on the other hand, wasn’t a walk in the park. In spite of the fact that we met when I was a Professional Matchmaker, I ignored all the red flags and eventually had a collision with reality. And that hurt.

We all know that emotionally driven decisions are best made when logic is applied. God gave us a brain He expects us to use with the wisdom He provides. When you buy a car, for example, you don’t get all dressed up, have a glass of wine and then take a test drive and claim it was “love at first sight.” No research. No Carfax. No cost analysis. If you do, there is a good chance you will have signed your name to years of regret whether you are a Christian or not.

Applying logic when your emotions are on overdrive is a tough concept for both believers as well as non-believers. But, with a little practice and the right tools, you can change your dating success faster than you change the oil in your car.

Matthew 7:14

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

I’m from Detroit so “auto-everything” runs through my veins; I use cars and driving as analogies for dating because it just makes sense. Boundary lines, dating under the influence, and assembling a pit crew is healthy across the board whether you are driving or dating. The solid yellow line down the middle of the road does not offer a waiver when you cross the line just because you are a follower of Christ. I have never seen a traffic sign that says “Christians Exempt.”

Isaiah 8:20

Consult God’s instruction and the testimony of warning. If anyone does not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn.

The biggest difference I see in dating is based on the respect for Authority. For believers, that is Christ and for non-believers, the law. Understanding the consequences will be the determining factor between success and devastation. Whether Christian or not, there are practical principles that need to be followed in all relationships.

After my divorce, I had the chance to apply everything I teach in workshops to my own dating experience to prove it works. And it did. So with a truckload of knowledge and research, I have dedicated the past several years to helping others use practical tips and tools to stay out of relational wreckage and find the love they deserve. Many were Christians, many were not.

God is still on the throne whether we choose to yield to Him or not. As believers, we have hope in the certainty that Christ paved the Way for a better life in Him. Racing off to makes things happen our own way gives us a greater chance at landing in the junkyard of broken hearts. Be smart. Seek God AND make good choices. Use the brain you have been given and the tools that keep you safe.

Proverbs 4:13

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.

So, if you are still single, frustrated and believe there is no one out there for you, let me encourage you – it’s not them, it’s you. The great news is, you can change yourself far more easily than you can change someone else!

You can’t force someone else to get the tune-up they need, but you can intentionally address your own maintenance, shift your thinking and present your best in dating to attract the love you deserve.

***Are you a single Christian woman? If you live in Southern California and want to see Lisa LIVE on May 14, 2016 in San Diego, CLICK HERE for more information the workshop, “Attract The Love You Deserve

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