Is Fidelity Just For Marriage?

Fidelity is trust. Fidelity is faithfulness. Fidelity is honesty.

Fidelity is trust. Fidelity is faithfulness. Fidelity is honesty.

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”

No matter which version of traditional wedding vows a couple chooses, the statements are drenched in the promise of fidelity. They do not include any other names but that of the husband, the wife… and God.

Hosea 2:19-20

I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.  I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.

But the promise of fidelity should begin the moment you begin to open your heart to someone in courtship or dating with marriage in mind. Otherwise, when the person who is courting you is also pursuing someone else, it will be hurtful and confusing. Even if the pursuit is in wandering eyes or in thought.

We are designed to be monogamous in our love relationships even outside of marriage. The Love that God designed for marriage is a love of faithfulness and unity between two people, not three or more.

The lines of fidelity might seem blurry with other relationships, so it is important to establish personal accountability and healthy boundaries to avoid gray areas. For example, if the guy you are seeing has a business associate of the opposite gender that he goes to lunch with, it might raise a red flag. Where will you draw the line with men and women in the workplace? What are the rules of engagement? What does the Word of God say as a warning about the temptations couples face?

Proverbs 5:15-17

Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.  Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?  Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

Trust in a relationship will be shattered if one person is unfaithful. Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to rebuild but with God, all things are possible. The best practice in relationships is to be above reproach and not raise questions about fidelity that will provoke hurtful answers.

Love Quote: Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind.

~Marcus Tullius Cicero

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