Gossip is harmful; triangulation is even more toxic.
“Triangulation is defined as a situation in which one family member will not communicate directly with another family member, but will communicate with a third family member, which can lead to the third family member becoming part of the triangle.”
Another form of triangulation can also be used in friendships, an office environment, neighborhoods and just about anywhere a group of people exists. It is unhealthy, ungodly and harmful. God warns about triangulation in His Word in the form of gossip.
Let’s look at what the Bible has to say about gossip in Proverbs and then apply the Word of God to speak life not death:
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
God has nothing good to say about gossip. So what do we do when we have a conflict with another person that seems to be more than we can handle alone?
Jesus provides the perfect, healthy solution in any and all circumstances. In 1 Peter 5:6-7, we read, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Jesus is not only a great listener; He is a great Counselor! And, He offers His advice free of charge!
When you are tempted to engage in gossip or triangulation, God offers a different solution. Triangulation will only damage relationships; there is no long-term benefit to triangulation or gossip. Though it may feel good to have you feelings validated, the result will be like food poisoning – “choice morsels that go down to the inmost parts.”
If you cast your cares on Jesus, and you still feel as though you need to vent, it might be helpful to meet with your pastor or a Christian counselor.
Words have power and have the ability to give life or death. Use your words carefully to build other up. And if someone comes to you with triangulation, respond by saying, “The only triangulation that is appropriate is between you, the other person…and Jesus.”
Love Quote: “Let the words that spill from your lips cause life, not death.”
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