Well, look at that!
I always thought my love language was “Acts of Service.” When I first took Dr. Gary Chapman’s – 5 Love Languages Profile Quiz years ago, the results proved to be heavily weighted in “Acts of Service.”
Many things have changed in my life since then, so I recently took the quiz again to see where I stand. I was shocked that my love language has shifted to “Quality Time” and “Physical Touch!” I wondered if it was actually possible for a love language in a person change.
Looking back, in the season of life I was in when I first took the test, I was in the midst of a struggling marriage, raising two teens almost single handedly and struggling financially. I thought about how I seemed to be busy all the time with supposed, “acts of service,” and whether it was simply chores that needed to be done and combined with the only thing I felt I had control over. You see, “doing stuff” kept me distracted so that my reality didn’t overwhelm me.
I created amazing parties, a fun home environment, painted walls, hung drywall and yes, helped to build the addition on our house. When a friend was in need, I was “on the ready” to make soup, help with carpools or take over a struggling committee. It would make sense that those who knew me would unanimously pick “Acts of Service” as my love language. Even I was fooled.
Things have changed – literally, everything. Taking the quiz, I could sense the direction it was heading and it made me smile. Maybe my inner “Mary” had emerged and left “Martha” in the kitchen complaining.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.
Don’t get me wrong, all love languages have equal value. I think it is possible for Jesus to move us to a new way of loving as we mature and grow closer to Him. I think, for me, there were times I was using acts of service in a way that was not always honoring to God.
As time has passed, I am able to cherish the moments with friends one-on-one amongst the pile of dirty dishes. I no longer need to decline a visit from my mom because the windows aren’t washed. I recognize the depth of conversations that can happen with one person and how that changes when another person joins us.
The bottom line for me is that relationships are at the top of my list. That does not mean that for another person, loving acts of kindness are not equal in God’s eyes. It might just mean that the quiz represents where you are in this season of life. If you haven’t taken the quiz or at least not in a while, take a few minutes and see your results. Your friends and family will thank you.
***Let us know your results in the comments below and where that shows up in your life!